The personal development and self-help voices are getting REALLY LOUD at this time of year. I am getting pounded and hounded with offers of books, online courses, webinars, videos and, and, and. WOW, turn down the noise!

How do you decipher what is best for you? What will serve you the most? Let me help.

Clearly you have options:

1. You can simply hit delete, but you might be missing something that you would really enjoy and could be really good for you.
2. You could skip over the messages in your email and decide to revisit them later, letting them all pile up and probably ultimately deleting them anyway.
3. You could react immediately, Johnny on the spot and sign up for whatever is being offered

OR
You could take a moment today and ask yourself, what is it I am looking for? What specifically will help me move into the direction of my goals or vision this coming year? (You can’t say, “I don’t know” because if you get quiet and ask the questions, you do know).

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First let’s Look at just three of our domains in life. The things you most likely want to improve.

1. Love, Family, and or relationships
2. Health and well being, physical, emotional, spiritual
3. Money/Freedom – Job, make more money, change careers, security, time

Ask yourself:
What would I love in these areas and write down at least 3 things in each area.
Example: Money – Job

1. Earn more money this year
2. Start investing my money
3. Be more efficient and organized with time management.

Now when the emails come, or the pop-ups or ads show up.

Ask yourself:

1. Does this directly apply to my goals and me?
2. Will this help me in the specific area that I have decided to give attention to?

If not: Delete.

If so: Create an email folder and save them to it.

Next ask yourself:
How do I really learn best?

1. Books or Audio?
2. Self study courses?
3. Live or recorded courses?
4. Do I need to be accountable to someone to actually follow through and not get sidetracked?

Personally, I either read or listen to Audio as part of my DAILY routine AND I attend live courses online or in person where the facilitator is expecting me. I need to show up, I need the accountability.

Now pick your most successful method.

So if I ask myself what is most important to me this year?

I will tell you: Earning Money and My Health.

And then I look at my answers to: How do I learn best?  What is the best way for me to achieve these goals?

I learn best by daily routines and live accountability.

I am going to quiet the noise and delete the emails that are not in alignment with my specific goals this year and THEN…. I am going to SET A DATE on my calendar to sit with the offers that have been sent to me and see if they are a fit right now.  So drag them into the folder and then calendarize when to review them.

I KNOW – If I start too much at once, I will fail.

So, we decide on ONE or TWO things. That’s it!

If 6 months from now you need to change it up? Go back and look at the folder, look at who is making the offer, if they are reputable and successful I am sure when you visit their website you will find something to boost your interest in the areas of change and improvement.

I hope this helps you to quiet the noise and really take steps to increase your learning, growth and quality of life this year.

I am going to give you an opportunity to do some reframing here.

A longtime client of mine decided to use her coaching session to try and get some insight for her husbands struggling consulting business. He really wants to attract more clients. His story, as she tells it is, he says things like “I am no good in sales” and “it’s because of my age”. (in his 60’s).

These are facts they are not truths. Let’s break it down.
He is not good in sales – That may not even be true, because after I did more discovery, I can tell, he isn’t even having sales conversations. He is blogging and welcoming feedback, (which he is getting a lot of, but not from his customers) So, he isn’t even having marketing or sales conversations. He is just engaging in dialogue with other people who want to comment or share their opinions.

So what can we learn from this? First, let’s figure out what the true challenge or problem is. How do you do that? Find someone who can identify your true blocks and get you moving. If you don’t know what to do, or how to do it, you have 2 choices. You can sit, wish, lament and continue to tell your story of “why not” or you can take action.

In this case his wife took action and within 10 minutes with me, we found 3 things that he wasn’t doing, that he should be doing. Things that would increase his business and they had nothing to do with him not being a good sales person, or his age. Which if you recall, is what he was stuck on.

Ok, let’s address the age thing. A) You can hide behind it and stay stuck in that story (no one has told him that he is too old by the way), it is his perception. Or you can reframe it as I did for them. I see his age as a positive.

It is no lie there is a different mindset with younger generations out there, (remember I coach leaders and their staff every day, I see both sides). There is definitely a generation of employees that think their problems are the companies problems, that their every need should be taken into consideration and concessions made to make sure they are comfortable so they can be productive. Ummm…. not entirely untrue but this entitlement group has missed the point of making good quality work for their employer who pays their salary their priority.

Given this perspective, It was easy for me to reframe for them, “The age thing”.
Look at his experience, look at his track record and results, look at his work ethic and what he will bring to the table, his maturity, experience and accountability. This is reframing or changing perception.

Your turn… Take a belief of yours and reframe it. Maybe it is about how you can’t do something because…. (fill in the blank)
First thing, let go of the belief. Put it behind you by saying “ I used to …” or “Up until now” this is setting it free as a past problem, not a current companion.
Secondly, ask yourself, “if I didn’t believe that was true, how can I see this differently” (insert new perception).

If you just do this, things will get a little easier for you. If you make it a daily practice, things will get a lot easier for you.

If you want to really make a shift, contact me and let’s look at creating permanent change.

As always, I got your back!

My initial response is NEVER, it’s a GOOD THING you can never have too much!
But really, if we take it too extremes?
Too much sun?
Too much ice-cream!
Too much bacon (said no one ever!)
Too much work.
Too much activity.
Too much training.
And the topic on this little blog today… too much POSITIVE!
You read it right, too much positive. My inbox is flooded with so called gurus and quotes and newsletters…for me, I have come to the conclusion it is TOO MUCH. My focus gets spread too thin; I cannot really let the things that resonate with me sink in.

I liken it to being at a giant event, where you are host and you are just rushing around to be sure and touch every guest and before you know it, party is over and it was a total blur. (Visualize that for a sec)
-Versus-
Having a really memorable, intimate event where you are able to make some real and awesome conversation and connections.
(Now visualize the difference)…. See what I mean! You totally get it.
I also came to the realization that I grow out of stuff or read one great thing that grabs me and then I subscribe and the rest just doesn’t do it for me, or the rest is simply marketing with no more “help” or “inspiration” or “tools”.

So I have a suggestion that has worked for me and mine:
DECLUTTER YOUR MOTIVATIONAL TOOLS! UNSUBSCRIBE (not from me of course – Duh)
But reevaluate what you want to focus on in your life right now and look for just that content. Try Google, type in key words that describe YOUR current goals and DESIRES and go from there.

Remember, “What we focus on expands” if we are all over the place, what are we truly focused on? RIGHT?!
Let me be crystal clear… I am not telling you to unsubscribe to everything; I am a HUGE believer in positive feeding. Just limit the voices to those that will work with you today to focus and expand where you want to be.
Sending you my very best and as always, if you need anything… I got your back!

Do you ever entertain and even energize those thoughts? The “why is this happening to me, what’s wrong with me, why did I do this? Why? Why?Why? (overly dramatic on purpose there)

Here is my truth on this. The answer isn’t going to cause you to change, if anything, at least in my experience, it could become a crutch, the excuse as to why I do, or do not do things…“I do this because, when I was a little girl XYZ happened to me” – “I am afraid of doing that because this happened to me” Um… Ok… but it is now, it is today. Knowing why really doesn’t do much for me in moving forward, maybe it does for you, but this me sharing. So, let me promise you something that does work, every time.

DECIDING.
Deciding what you want and then taking action toward that.

So then, maybe your are thinking “Well I don’t know what I want Sam”. Yes you do. At some level there is something that you want, maybe it is a different job, maybe it is more financial success, maybe it is a relationship or a better connection. Maybe it is more freedom, maybe it is to have more spirit or health. You have something that you want.

People get held up on trying to figure out their life’s purpose and creating some giant transformation and then? They end up stuck. If your goal right now is to learn your purpose and live your Dream Life, then get professional support. Hire a coach. Enroll in a DreamBuilder or Life Mastery course with me.

If that seems too big right now, and you want to take a totally doable, baby step that will create change? Then just start with this. Decide on Something. Decide means “To cut away from” So when you decide for something you cut away all that is not serving or in Alignment with your decision. This is very different than try. It is decide.

Now you have made a decision, Take action – a little action in the direction of that which you have decided for, signals the universe you are ready. Ask yourself “What can I do today in the direction of this decision” whatever comes to mind, lean in, right then and take that action. As big or minuet as it seems, take action. I also call this “leaning in” Like it or not, lean in to it. I am telling you, look for the signs and you will see almost immediately, the universe is in your corner, working at whatever you are projecting. This works.

So why did I, as a coach, tell you that I too have theses moments, sometimes hours, (honestly at this point of my life it is rarely days ) of stuck in fear, self doubt and anxiety? Because I am human. Yes, its true I am a spiritual being having a physical experience just like you and sometimes I let physical being Bull Shit talk me back into an old paradigm. I am telling you, because there is a learning point in all of this and I do know my purpose, I am here to help others. I know this story will reach the intended recipients.

Decide and take some action every day, look for the signs, You so got this!

Give your time * Give your talent * Give your money * Give your love * Give … ideas * Give … patience * Give…compassion * Give…empathy * Give…

I am challenging you to CONSCIOUSLY GIVE for 30 days. This is not a competition of who can give more, or stroking egos, this is jumping in the flow, creating acts of kindness, inspiring others with your actions so they jump in the flow and give as well…Sounds easy? It can be but the real challenge comes when you don’t want to give, when your patience is shot, your stressed, irritated and tired, when you feel overwhelmed, over worked, over burdened… THIS IS EXACTLY WHEN YOU GIVE…you will feel the shift and others will too…

Post your random act of giving everyday and challenge 3 people to do the same.

This is where perception comes in, where you get to choose or decide how to live comes into play, this is where you get to remember, you are always creating.

I have talked with dozens of hurricane Odile Survivor’s over the past month. My friends, my neighbors, my clients, people in the poorest colony’s, business owners and complete strangers on the street. If you were here immediately following the devastation you would of experienced, strangers in the street asking if you are ok, if you need anything. WOW!

So, I ask you. How is it that one person can lose every window and every door in their house, their car is smashed with water and flooding everywhere, yet they respond with “it could have been so much worse, we are so grateful, we are all ok”. Yet others are still reeling in the aftermath, feeling a victim, devastated from all that has happened to them?

It is PERCEPTION, it is CHOOSING, it is remembering that we are always creating. We did not create the Hurricane, however we are creating our own experience, our own realities of how we choose to respond to this life changing experience.
What are you choosing?

In DreamBuilding we learned about creating visions and deciding. Once you create your vision you DECIDE to cut away anything that is not in alignment with that vision. We talked about giving in the areas we feel the most lack.
Lack in time, give time.
Lack in love, give love.
Lack in money, give money.
Lack in energy, give energy. Etc…

The law of Attraction does not work just sometimes; it is a LAW it is always in play. What are you attracting? Lack? Fear? Resentments? Frustrations? “Notice what you are noticing” and look for the gifts. There are so many gifts. Choose to live in gratitude, choose to move forward, remember you are always creating. Your experience of this event did not happen to you, it happened from you.

Much love,

My initial response is NEVER, it’s a GOOD THING you can never have too much!
But really, if we take it too extremes?
Too much sun?
Too much ice-cream!
Too much bacon (said no one ever!)
Too much work.
Too much activity.
Too much training.
And the topic on this little blog today… too much POSITIVE!

You read it right, too much positive. My inbox is flooded with so called gurus and quotes and newsletters…for me, I have come to the conclusion it is TOO MUCH. My focus gets spread too thin; I cannot really let the things that resonate with me sink in.
I liken it to being at a giant event, where you are host and you are just rushing around to be sure and touch every guest and before you know it, party is over and it was a total blur. (Visualize that for a sec)
-Versus-
Having a really memorable, intimate event where you are able to make some real and awesome conversation and connections.
(Now visualize the difference)…. See what I mean! You totally get it.

I also came to the realization that I grow out of stuff or read one great thing that grabs me and then I subscribe and the rest just doesn’t do it for me, or the rest is simply marketing with no more “help” or “inspiration” or “tools”.
So I have a suggestion that has worked for me and mine:
DECLUTTER YOUR MOTIVATIONAL TOOLS! UNSUBSCRIBE (not to VOS of course – Duh)
But reevaluate what you want to focus on in your life right now and look for just that content. Try Google or Bing, type in key words that describe YOUR cureent goals and DESIRES and go from there.

Remember, “What we focus on expands” if we are all over the place, what are we truly focused on? RIGHT?!

Let me be crystal clear… I am not telling you to unsubscribe to everything; I am a HUGE believer in positive feeding. Just limit the voices to those that will work with you today to focus and expand where you want to be.
Sending you my very best!

Happy MAY everyone! And as always, if you need anything… I got your back!

Now that I coach managers guess what annoys them? “I did that” coming from their reps.

You know what I am talking about. It’s when your salesperson misses a sale and you try to help them by reviewing what went down (or in this case didn’t go down) and to everything you say, they say “Yah, I did that” uh huh…I did that”

Eventually you just say… well clearly you have done everything, you don’t need me! When in reality, if they had effectively done what you are trying to convey, they would of received a different result.

SO, let me set a few things straight here, chances are really good that they truly believe that they actually did what you are telling them to do. Let me give you an example: I used to manage a sales organization that used AIphones (think intercoms or monitors) the sales rep would have the guest sign a “consent to monitor form” a lot like when we call a business and they say “Your call may be monitored for quality assurance” same idea. So, I would listen to the sales consultations going on and take notes so I could support the sales rep. I remember one instance really clearly, I had a sales rep named Kathy come ripping into my office asking me “what do I do now? did you hear what he said, he isn’t buying anything,!” etc…

Me: “Ask him A B and C and then reply with X,Y,Z”
Kathy: “I did that!”
Me: Um…no you didn’t.
Kathy: YES, I did.
Me: I am listening to you and taking notes, NO YOU DIDN’T.
Kathy: I totally did, I said “A B and C”
Me: Kathy, I have been sitting here, listening to you and taking notes. You didn’t ok? If you had done it AND done it effectively, there is NO WAY you would be receiving this outcome.

Sound Familiar? So what is the solution?

Ask them what they said – Rather than telling them what you would of said or telling them what they should say. Ask them “Tell me what you said” Listen for phrasing, how and at what point in the presentation they said it.

1. Either coach at this point by restating what they just told you and allowing them to correct it , or You correct it – be clear in what you heard and what you are now saying. And practice it a couple of times.
2. Explain to them that it is plain and simple if they had done it effectively, you would not have gotten this result. Now, Tell them how to do it, then do it for them, have them do it back on you and ask them what they will do differently from now on.

What I do know, is “NO YOU DIDN’T’ doesn’t change the behavior, nor does telling them what they should of said, change the behavior. Observing, restating, training and coaching will change the behavior. It takes work, but it is so worth it.

Need support with coaching or training? Keep in touch, comment here, find us on FACEBOOK, follow us on TWITTER and be sure to SUBSCRIBE to NEWSLETTERS and BLOGS.

You have a responsibility to Live. I mean REALLY LIVE! To share the gift that is you. I used to date a musician. I have one memory in particular I want to share. You see this musician was one of the best and I am not just saying that, I mean truly, truly talented and to listen to him would really move a person. Not just me, many people felt the same way. Unfortunately, he had huge insecurities. Am I good enough? What if people don’t like me … What if I don’t get signed to a record deal?…What if I don’t succeed?….what if i do succeed can i maintain it? What if……. What if……I can’t…… I can’t…..I can’t….

So, not by accident and maybe unknowingly, he held himself back. He even had a studio gig with the Eagles yes, THE EAGLES and he no showed. Fear is paralyzing isn’t it, it is the dream killer, self sabotage is real my friends.
I remember thinking “What a waste, what a rip-off!” This guy was given this extraordinary gift, that he continued to cultivate and develop and then? Due to fear of failure or maybe fear if success? I don’t know, he robbed all of us, 1000’s probably millions of people of the experience of enjoying his music, allowing it to touch our lives. We all know, music is a deep moving emotional thing for people. It makes us move or relax, dream or sing, it stirs up memories, it is a friend and companion at times. Much like a great book. These are important life experiences!

Let me try to put it into perspective, Van Gogh decides not to paint, Jaime Oliver doesn’t cook, you laugh, but my family has made his prime rib recipe our Christmas dinner tradition for years now, as well as special dinner parties, it is a source of great discussion and enjoyment. Ok, more tangible to you, Edison doesn’t pursue the light bulb, Michael Jordan decided not to play basketball, Steve jobs gave up on his vision.  Is my point being made? Have you ever heard a piece of advice? Or learned something from a lecture or writing that made an impact on you? Changed how you think about something? THAT’S IT! You don’t have to be a world class guitarist or painter. You don’t have to do things on the world wide stage. You do you! so not play small. You do owe it to the world to be you in all your perfection and even your imperfection., You need to SHOW UP, the world needs you to show up.  I want the best for you. I want the best for the world. I want the best for my family and myself. So all I am asking you to do is, live your life to your fullest potential. You know what you are capable of (listen to the true voice deep inside you, not the programmed doubtful voice) you were not brought into this world with doubts, you were brought in perfect! So, this doubt crap is self-made. Now self UN make it! And let your light shine on whatever level and at whatever gift you choose to bring. No doubts, no fear of judgment, no “I’m not enough” You do have a gift, it is you. Time to share.

All my Best!

Don’t let me deter you from your motivations to make a change or to have an incredible year, but do allow me to challenge you a bit.

If you seem to be the type of person that sets out with the best intentions, but year after year you seem to fall short, lose motivation, forget the goal, lack a system or the support to play through, what will be different this year? What I am saying is DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT this year. Simple right?

Let me help. Read on and I promise you will succeed.

Determine the areas in your life that you want change in. Below is a list of 10 questions, answer them, send us the results “confidentially” and we will return to you the results FREE. There is a start. Once you receive the results you can start to build an action plan around each area in your life where you would like to achieve more success. If you have had troubles or challenges following through, sticking with or even achieving your goals in the past maybe it is time for some support and accountability? Time to TEAM UP! How about sitting with your mentor? Spouse? Maybe a colleague or best friend? Of course you could simply hire your own coach. Your personal cheerleader, confidant, motivator, inspirer, accountability partner. That would certainly help right? But it is certainly not the only way.

Here are your steps, ready!

1) In the “10” Categories below please rate how balanced you feel in each. On a scale of 1 – 10. (1 being NOT at all and 10 being Perfect, I wouldn’t change a thing)

• Home/Physical Environment 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Partner, love, relationships 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Health / Fitness 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5– 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Growth / Learning 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Career / Business / Work 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Money / Finance 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5– 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Family / Friends / Social Relationships 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Community 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5– 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Fun 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5– 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10
• Spirituality 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5– 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10

2) Email Us your answers to us confidentially

3) Set your goals

4) Find an accountability Partner

5) Open your calendar, set a reminder for February 28th, 2013 to check in on your progress and your goals

6) Celebrate if you are on track

7) Hire a coach if you are not

Remember the idea here is to feel good about you and your accomplishments, to live a balanced and productive life, whatever that looks like and means to YOU.

Wishing you massive success and happiness. I am here if you need anything.

Best!